Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Move Over "Biggest Loser"


Meet Erin, diet guru and founder of The New World Diet.

I personally used this diet to lose the last of my stubborn baby weight, and now I want to offer this tested system to you for the low price of $19.99. But wait- order now, and I'll slash $19.99 off that payment! That's right! But you must act within the next 3 minutes!

Here is the rundown of my patented system, which combines science and pop culture to get you results you never dreamed of. First, you need to catch Swine Flu. Kiss a pig, lick a Mexican, play in a ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese- do whatever it takes! This is the "jump start" portion of my system, and will kick your weight loss into high gear. Once you see the immediate results, you will be encouraged and motivated enough to enter into phase 2 of my system: Have someone in your household lose his or her job. It can be you, your significant other, your child (please obey applicable child labor laws) or even a very close roommate. What matters here is that in this economy, a new job will not soon be found, and it will take weeks to get an unemployment check in the mail. By the time money starts to flow in again, you will have been unable to afford food for weeks! No temptation for you, my friend! (It is very important to follow my program in this exact order, since you need to be in a healthy state prior to contracting Swine Flu, and have health insurance just in case.

With my system, H1NE1can get results! So don't wait, pick up the phone and call today, before it gets disconnected!!!

1 comment:

M.A. said...

Hey, you need to blog more!