This is a V-Day card MADE for men. My "friend" just got this card in the mail:
"Because You Mean So Much"
Valentine's Day/ is a day for telling/ those people we care about/ just how much/ they mean to us.../
So I couldn't/ let this day go by/ without you knowing/ how very much/ I enjoy being with you./
The times we share/ are very special to me.../ and so are you.
HAPPY (all caps) Valentine's Day (obligatory scroll-y script).
Somebody actually got paid to write that. I read the fine print- yep, it's actually from Hallmark.
Now- my translation:
"Because You are Putting Out on a Semi-Regular Basis"
Valentine's Day/ is a day/ that I don't give a crap about/ but I know you expect something from me/
So I couldn't/ let this day go by/ without you thinking/ I acknowledge this/ so I can still get laid./
The times we share/ are sex/ and therefore I like them.../ and you're ok, too.
Again with the "HAPPY Valentine's Day."
Although the quality of their writing has obviously gone down, I will hand it to them: they are tapping into their niche markets. Hallmark: Not just your grandmother's greeting card.